


Melodies of Bleach

by Shinigami_Mine



Series: Melodies of Bleach [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Bonds, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heart, Light Angst, Slight Canon-Divergence, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigami_Mine/pseuds/Shinigami_Mine
Summary: Music is a universal language. There is a song for just about any and all situations and emotions. Humans, Shinigami, and even Arrancar can identify with that.A collection of Bleach stories based on songs.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia, Hitsugaya Toushirou/Matsumoto Rangiku, Ichimaru Gin/Matsumoto Rangiku, Kuchiki Byakuya/Kuchiki Hisana, Kuchiki Rukia/Shiba Kaien
Series: Melodies of Bleach [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748272
Comments: 70
Kudos: 22





	1. From Here I Will Walk On

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic for Bleach. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I do not own Bleach or the songs in these fics. All rights go to Tite Kubo and their respective owners.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even over time and hardship, the heart will still live on. (Rukia/Kaien, bond)

Just outside the Squad 13 grounds, the Shinigami Rukia Kuchiki stood looking into the distance in silence. A slight breeze blew by, gently rustling the grass and softly flowing through her raven locks. To anyone who just looked at her in passing, they would just see a Soul Reaper lost in thought. However, this particular Shinigami wasn’t simply ‘lost’ in thought. Her thoughts were very organized and centered on one thing and one thing alone. From her outward appearance, she didn’t appear distressed, or worried or anything. No particular expression made itself known on her face. No one knew her well enough to discern what was really going on inside her mind. No one around at the time anyway. However, there was one person who seemed to notice her. One person that made it his mission to break through the wall that kept her apart from everyone else.

“Yo, Rukia! What are you doing out here by yourself? That doesn’t look like training to me!”

“K-Kaien-dono!” Rukia turned around in surprise, the Lieutenant of her Squad, Kaien Shiba walked up to her, one hand in his Shihakusho pocket and the other raised in greeting. “What brings you here?”

“What? I can’t check on how my fellow members are doing? What kind of Lieutenant would I be if I didn’t do that?” He ruffled his hair with his right hand before he dropped it to his side as he looked at her.

“Ah, yes. Sorry…,” Rukia answered looking at the ground then turning away, feeling a little self-conscious.

They stood there in silence for a moment, not a word was spoken between them. Kaien kept his gaze on female Shinigami’s back, seeing that she wasn’t going to break the ice anytime soon. He sighed to himself before he walked forward and placed his left hand on her shoulder, startling her a bit.

“Come on. Let’s go train a bit with our Zanpakuto. I know of a good place.”

She lifted her gaze from the ground and looked at him questioningly. “You want to train with me?”

“Why are you acting like it is such a big shock? We’re part of the same Squad right, so it makes sense that we would train together. Besides, I want to get to know all of my fellow Squad members and that, of course, includes you.” Kaien smiled at her before he gestured in a direction with his head. “Come on, let’s go.” He took his hand off of her shoulder and started walking ahead.

“Ah, yes! Coming.” Rukia straightened her Zanpakuto at her side before running to catch up with him.

~*~

After some time training, Rukia sat on the ground under a tree taking a breather. The training mostly consisted of her practicing wielding her sword and working on her footwork while Kaien watched, giving her pointers and tips on how to improve. It wasn’t as difficult as much as it was something new. At first, she felt a little awkward being watched while she practiced, but as she got more into what she was doing, it didn’t seem to bother her as much. She ended up paying less attention to the eyes upon her and more on her Zanpakuto. Putting Kaien’s suggestions to practice and adding her own style to how she wields Sode no Shirayuki, her moves which started out as disjointed and somewhat rigid, began to become smooth and flowing, almost like a dance. The sound of footsteps came up behind her and the next thing she knew there was a cup hovering in her line of vision.

“Here take this. I’m sure all that sword practice is making you thirsty. It’s important to stay hydrated.”

“…Thank you.” Rukia gently took the cup from Kaien’s grasp and took a sip. He ended up sitting next to her with his own cup in hand. They sat there in companionable silence for a little while before Kaien spoke again.

“You know, you’re getting the hang of using your Zanpakuto. I must say I’m impressed. Your movements and pacing…,” he chuckled and turned to face her before continuing. “…Is looking like you are in a dance!”

Rukia sat up a little straighter at that, giving him a look of indignation. “I am not dancing! I am taking this training very seriously, thank you very much!” Kaien closed his eyes and laughed.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way!” He laughed a little more before looking at her seriously, but with a smile still on his face. “I know you are taking your training very seriously and I am glad to see that. What I meant is that there is something graceful to your movements with how they are starting to flow together, you and your sword moving in sync. Your movements are both effective and enjoyable to watch, much like a dance.” He gestured before them at the expanse of field that Rukia was training on. Imagine how much more effective and enjoyable your moves will be when you are in Shikai! After all, your call to summon your Zanpakuto does say to ‘dance’, right?” He turned back to her with a grin. “With enough practice and skill, your enemies will be so enthralled with your movements they’ll forget how to fight. I’m looking forward to seeing that one day.”

To Rukia’s surprise, she found herself chuckling slightly. She found Kaien’s comments to be both funny and flattering. She highly doubted any Hollows would ever be entranced by her swordplay and ‘dancing,’ but in the far less reality focused part of her mind, she imagined maybe some Soul Reapers might be. Any nervousness or trepidation she once felt when she started training with Kaien watching, faded away as she put her now empty cup on the ground as she stood up. “Well then, I guess I better keep practicing then, yes?” With a slight smile, she walked out to the center of the field and held her Zanpakuto out before her. “Dance, Sode no Shikayuki!”

~*~

As time went by, Rukia continued to train under Kaien’s watchful gaze and tutelage. Every time they started out, she ended up being startled by Kaien’s sudden appearances and he berated her lightly for it, saying she made him feel bad every time she did so.

“You have got to stop doing that! You are starting to make me think I’m a scary or some unlikeable guy. Do you want to give me a complex?”

“Ah…no. I’m sorry, Kaien-dono. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” Rukia looked at the ground feeling guilty and slightly self-conscious again.

Kaien let out a sigh, looking up at the sky for a moment before he turned back towards Rukia. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it. “Come on, let’s go.” He smiled at her when she looked up at him and removing his hand, started walking ahead. After gathering herself, she started to run after him to catch up, as they do every time they train together.

They started out as they usually do with Kaien watching her form and giving directions every now and then. Then he would jump in there with her and spar. Kido was more of her strong suit than sword skills. While she did well wielding her sword by herself, when it came to fighting with another person, she still had a lot to learn.

“Come on, Rukia, you are not focusing! Again! Parry! Don’t let your opponent’s sword get past your own! Again!”

Like a few times before, Kaien managed to disarm Rukia, leaving her defenseless to attack. Seeing how she looked a little downtrodden, he told her they should take a break for a few minutes before continuing. They each sat on a rock as they rested, the snacks they brought with them resting in their laps. Kaien was munching on his, but Rukia’s remained untouched. She had a distant yet sad on her face like something was bothering her. Again, it wasn’t blatantly obvious, something someone walking by wouldn’t notice, but Kaien did. With all the time he spent training with her, he started to pick up on these things. He started to get to know her and he started to break down the walls she had around her. He never really pushed her, he would gauge how she seemed and approached her accordingly. However, he has managed to break down enough of her walls where she started to approach him instead of him always approaching her. It was just a little, but it was enough.

“Kaien-dono… What am I doing here? I have been making some improvements, but I still have a lot to learn. I’m sure when you compare me to others you have trained, I leave a lot to be desired. So tell me, what am I doing here?”

He looked up at her incredulously. “What are you doing here? You’re here to fight and protect! You are a Shinigami and that is what Shinigami do!”

“No, I mean…” Rukia shook her head and looked at her Lieutenant. “I may be a Shinigami and I know Shinigami fight Hollows and help Souls crossover, but what am I supposed to protect?”

Kaien hummed to himself for a second as he thought of how to answer her. When he figured out what he was going to say, he smiled at her and gestured for her stand up, and stood up himself. Once Rukia followed suit, he spoke. “You know of our Captain’s philosophy of the two types of fights there are, yes?” Once Rukia nodded, he continued. “While what he says is true, I think what we protect comes down to one thing…the heart.”

Rukia looked at him with a deadpan expression on her face and spoke with a flat tone. “You can’t be serious….”

“Hey, I’m being serious here! Tell me, where do you think the heart is?”

Rukia thought for a moment before placing her hand on her chest. “Somewhere around here, I believe.”

Kaien chuckled, “That is where your physical heart is, yes, but to me…” He holds up a relaxed fist between them. “The heart is right here. Whenever people grow close or whenever you care about something or someone, a heart is born. If you were all alone in the world, I don’t think you could have a heart. A heart couldn’t exist then, could it?” The whole time he spoke of a heart, the look on his face was gentle and showed he spoke nothing less than the truth. That is what he believed and how he lived his life, both during and away from battle.

Rukia looked at the male Shinigami before her with awe. She never thought of anything like that before. She always looked at being a Shinigami as just fighting Hollows and saving Souls; she never thought of protecting a ‘heart’ or even the concept of a heart like he described. She viewed being a Shinigami as most people viewed living in the Soul Society. ‘This is how we live’ and ‘this is what we do,’ nothing more and nothing less. She thought to be a good Shinigami, she would have to put her emotions aside; however, despite herself, she couldn’t entirely. She first faced the feeling of being alone and different from everyone else, being from the poorest area in the Rukongai, then coming into the world of the nobility thanks to her Nii-sama and finally into the Seireitei, the world of the Soul Reapers. Kaien however, showed her kindness and treated her like everyone else from the beginning. He broke down the walls she had that separated her from everyone else and now, he has given her a reason for being here, for being a Shinigami… To protect the heart.

“So, you ready for some more training or do you think you’re done for the day?” Kaien looked at her as he awaited her answer. There was nothing to show that he specifically wanted her to continue training or that he would be disappointed if she said she was done, just kindness.

Rukia placed her hand on the hilt of her Zanpakuto before she looked back at him. “If you don’t mind, I think I would like to continue. After all….” She smiled tilting her head to the side slightly, “I have something to protect now.”

Kaien closed his eyes and laughed happily. “I’m really glad to hear that, Rukia.” He stepped forward and gently placed his hand on her head. “You’ll make a great Shinigami one day, Rukia. Remember that and remember this: I’ll always remain by your side even if it costs me my life.” He removed his hand from her head and started walking to the center of the field.

Rukia lifted a hand to her chest and held it there. She felt warmth there, something that hasn’t been there in a long time. She looked up at the vast, blue sky above her and sighed. Closing her eyes, she smiled and opened them again to see Kaien waiting for her. Dropping her hand back to her side, she walked on.

~*~

_Aa_   
_(Ah,)_   
_Kanashisa kana kurashisa kana_   
_(Is it sadness, is it regret?)_   
_Yorokobi kana_   
_(Or could it be happiness…?)_

_Aa kanjou gai ma_   
_(Ah, sentiment is now)_   
_Afuredezu ni_   
_(Overflowing within)_   
_Mune ni atsuku…_   
_(This burning chest)_

_Hosoku tsugeru koe ni_   
_(The thin voice reporting on)_   
_Hitomi no oku no ai wo shitta…_   
_(The understanding of the love in the centre of those eyes…)_

_Hiroi sora wo miageru kazu dake tsuyoku nareru kara…_   
_(I gaze up at the expansive sky so often I’ve grown used to its strength…)_   
_Aruite ikeru kara_   
_(From here I will walk on)_

~*~

Several years later, after loss and regret and new hardships, time went on. Squad 13 lost their Lieutenant; Squads 3, 5 and 9 lost their Captains due to treachery, and Rukia almost lost her life. Again, over time Rukia has had her old beliefs that have been held as the only ones for centuries in the Soul Society tested and changed. She held close what she had learned before, but it became harder to when it just brought up feelings of guilt and regret. She didn’t regret having learned what she had or practicing what she learned; she regret not being able to save someone. She felt guilt for ending someone’s life; she felt guilt for killing Kaien. The warmth that once filled her chest was gone. In it, was nothing but an empty space.

~*~

Rukia was lucky. She didn’t have to wallow in guilt and regret; she didn’t have to be alone. Time passed once again, but it wasn’t only with sadness. She made bonds with new people and rekindled bonds with others. She had learned new things and held new beliefs, beliefs that were only strengthened through what she experienced and through those that stood with her. She had old beliefs that she once had revived and strengthened. What was once dormant came alive again and what once was not there, now has an eternal place, forever being a part of who Rukia is.

Time passes; always flowing, never stopping. There will still be some pain from things past, but even then, wounds heal. They may forever leave a mark, a reminder of what has transpired, but even the worst of emotions, the cruelest of memories, will give way. Beneath it all, that which once was there, is never gone and it will always return, right to where it belongs.

~*~

_Aa_   
_(Ah,)_   
_Jikan wo koe kono subete wo_   
_(Over time, all of this will be)_   
_Tsutsumu ai ha_   
_(Enveloped in love)_

_Sotto toki wo kasana_   
_(Gently, time piles up)_   
_Hyakunen saki mo tsuyoku hikaru…_   
_(That strong light from one hundred years ago…)_

_Hitotsu mune ga aketeita basho e_   
_(At first, a chest as an open, empty space)_   
_Hokatabutsu to nai kizuna ga kaeri tsuku_   
_(Next and never, those bonds return home)_

~*~

“Rukia! Hey, Rukia! Are you ready to go? Everyone is waiting for us!”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Go ahead, Ichigo. I’ll meet you there.”

“Alright, if you’re sure.”

Rukia didn’t turn around to see the Substitute Shinigami, her friend walk away leaving her alone once again. She stayed standing where she was. Her back was facing the direction Ichigo went, the direction she herself would be going shortly. She kept her eyes on what lied before her, her attention focused on that one thing.

_Ano hi mabushi sugita_   
_(Those days passed by faintly)_   
_Sekai ga itai hodo ni yasashi…_   
_(The world’s pain comes from kindness…)_

She lifted her hand to her chest and held it there. Something she hasn’t done in many years. Her head bowed down slightly, but her shoulders did not droop; her posture remained assured. “I should be going now. I’ll come back to visit again some other time. So goodbye for now…” Her lips turned up in a tiny smile, but the emotion it held was not lost as she mouthed her final words as she turned away and looked up at the sky. ‘Kaien-dono.’

_Hitori sora wo miagerareru you ni tsuyoku nareru kara…_   
_(I gaze up at the lonely sky so often I’ve grown used to its strength…)_   
_Mou ichido sou omoeta_   
_(Once more, I think)_   
_Hitotsu mune ga aketeita basho e_   
_(At first, a chest as an open, empty space)_   
_Hokatabutsu to nai kizuna ga kaeri tsuku_   
_(Next and never, those bonds return home)_

Rukia lowered her gaze to the path before her which will lead her to where the others were waiting. She sighed in content and gently tightened the grip of her hand where it remained on her chest. The warmth that once settled in her chest, the warmth that was there so long ago and was absent from it longer than it was originally there, has returned. It has returned to where it belongs and where it will forever remain. The smile on her face grew just enough to not be too big, but big enough to show her contentment. Even people just walking by will notice that she is a person who is happy and satisfied with her life. Her grip relaxed and her arms resting at her sides, she walked on to meet her friends.

_Aruite ikeru kara_   
_(From here I will walk on)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Ten no Hoshi (Star of Heaven)  
> Character Song sung by Rukia Kuchiki


	2. Thousands of Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai  
> (“I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me”)  
> Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte  
> (I wander around as I repeat this to myself)  
> Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte  
> (And the answer I found is only one; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt)  
> Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda  
> (I’ll say “I love you” to the one I love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switches between Byakuya's and Renji's POV

It was midday in the Soul Society and everyone was in the throes of their daily activities. Captains and Lieutenants were either working on paperwork or assigning missions to other squad members. Squad members were engaged in various tasks depending on their squad; anything from training, exterminating Hollows or working on experiments. However, there was one particular Captain who was not out and about in the bustling Seireitei just yet.

It was quiet in the Kuchiki manor. Having completed most of their morning tasks, not many servants were to be seen. The shoji were slid open, revealing the meticulously managed garden with its blooming Sakura trees, Koi pond and gently flowing stream. Looking into the open part of the manor just across from the garden sat the Head of the Kuchiki Household, Byakuya Kuchiki. He sat kneeling before an open cabinet with a lit stick of incense in his hand. He gently placed the stick of incense to the left of the picture in the middle of the shrine.

Looking back at him was the portrait of a beautiful young woman with a gentle smile on her face. It was the late Hisana Kuchiki; the female head of the household and the love of Byakuya’s life. She may have died over fifty years ago, but not a day goes by where Byakuya does not think of her or does not light some incense for her shrine. She may have been from one of the poorest areas of the Rukongai and he from one of the Four Great Noble Clans, but that did not stop Byakuya from loving her. Against the rules and the advisement of the Kuchiki clan elders, Byakuya took her into the family as his wife; not caring if his actions would shame the Clan. Unfortunately, Hisana became sick and after only five years of marriage, she passed away. Once you die in the Soul Society, you are gone forever. You become part of the cycle and return to the World of the Living as a different person, no longer remembering who you were and those that were once dear to you. Despite that, Byakuya never stopped loving her and never married again.

“Kuchiki-dono. I am sorry to disturb you, but there is a squad member from the 9th Squad at the front of the manor who needs to speak with you…” A servant knelt beside the parted shoji and that led to the hallway and other parts of the manor.  
“Thank you for telling me. Let them know that I will be there in a few minutes.”

“Yes, Kuchiki-dono, thank you.” The servant bowed before he stood up and walked away, sliding the shoji closed behind him.

Byakuya closed his eyes and sighed, putting out the match he used to light the incense and looked back up at the portrait of his late wife. “I must be going, I have work to attend to. I will be back later.” He nodded respectfully before turning towards the view overlooking the garden. A gentle breeze blew by rustling the branches of the Sakura tree and setting aloft a handful of fragrant pink petals. Closing his eyes again, he stood up and grabbed his Zanpakuto, securing it to his side before walking out of the manor.

_Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai_   
_(“I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me”)_   
_Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte_   
_(I wander around as I repeat this to myself)_   
_Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte_   
_(And the answer I found is only one; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt)_   
_Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda_   
_(I’ll say “I love you” to the one I love)_

~*~

Renji Abarai stood outside the Squad 13 barracks, holding a letter in his hand that needs to be signed by the Squad’s Lieutenant. He was given it yesterday, but it was rather late in the day and he hoped that he would have more time to talk to the Lieutenant if he gave it to her now. He recognized some familiar faces among the Squad Members walking to and from the buildings, including the two-third seats Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentaro Kotsubaki who seemed to be bickering as usual. Walking just behind those two was the very person he came to see. Rukia Kuchiki, the newly appointed Lieutenant of the 13th Squad. She appeared to be laughing at whatever the two 3rd Seats were arguing about, her face alight with joy. Renji couldn’t help but watch her in awe.

It had only been a few months since she took over as the squad’s lieutenant, but it has been like she has been doing it for years. She was originally nervous about being given such a big responsibility, but with the support of her brother, her friends, and members of Squad 13 along with their Captain Juushiro Ukitake, she took the position with skill and grace. Renji smiled fondly as he watched her, thinking of where they have both come from and how proud he is of her.

Like him, she was an orphan from Hanging Dog, one of the poorest areas of the Rukongai. They met and became close friends, deciding to leave their old lives behind and become Soul Reapers. When they were at the Soul Reaper Academy, Rukia was adopted into the Kuchiki family and from that point, he hasn’t seen her as much. Later on, they both became Soul Reapers and joined the Thirteen Court Guard Squads, him the 11th and her the 13th. With patience and training, he was promoted to be the Lieutenant of the 6th Squad, the very Squad that Rukia’s older brother leads. He took advantage of that to try to reconnect with Rukia again, and while there were some bumps along the way, they became good friends again. He knew Rukia was a strong Soul Reaper and couldn’t be prouder when she became a lieutenant herself. They may be on more equal footing regarding Squad positions, but there was still that gap due to the fact that she was also nobility. However, they didn’t let that get between their friendship and remain close to this day.

Seeing that Rukia has finished talking to Sentaro and Kiyone, he steps away from the corner of the building he was standing by and calls out to her. “Hey, Rukia! Over here!”

Recognizing his voice, Rukia turned to where Renji was standing and smiles. “Renji! What are you doing here? Don’t you have some work you need to be doing?” Both she and Renji walked towards each other, meeting halfway.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m here to give you this to sign. Plus, I kinda wanted to see you. Can’t a lieutenant come and visit his fellow lieutenant and friend?”

Rukia shook her head and laughed, taking the envelope from him. “I guess not, as long as you aren’t messing around.” She opened the envelope to take a quick glance at it, before taking it to her office to sign. She narrowed her eyes slightly after skimming the top of the letter. “Renji…why is this dated yesterday and you only came to give this to me today?” She glanced back up at him with an eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer.

“Ah, well you see…. It was rather late in the evening that Kuchiki-taicho gave that to me and I figured that you must be wrapping things up for the day. So, I figured I’d give it to you today. It is also like I said earlier, I kind of wanted to see you too.” He reached his hand up and rubbed the back of his head nervously.

Rukia punched him on the other arm, but a chuckle escaped her lips. “You better hope that Nii-sama won’t be too upset with you for not delivering this earlier. It isn’t urgent, but it is still important. And why couldn’t you see me afterhours? What is one form to sign? I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t think of that.” He flinched slightly when she punched him, but he has gotten used to it. After all, she didn’t punch him too hard, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“Well whatever, come with me and I’ll sign it now before I visit the 4th Squad. I’m going to need to find out which Squad 4 members will be joining me and the 10th Squad on our next mission to the World of the Living. Maybe I’ll see Hanataro there too.”  
“Hey, I got to deliver something to Unohana-taicho for her to sign too, so I’ll join you.”

Rukia looked at him suspiciously. “If you had something to deliver there, why didn’t you go there first? Squad 6 is much closer to Squad 4 than here.”

Renji shrugged and raised his hands to his sides. “You said yourself that I should’ve given this to you yesterday, so I thought I should see you first. Besides I found this,” he pulled out the letter meant for Captain Unohana out of his Shihakusho, “on my desk this morning so it isn’t that urgent.”

“I see, well whatever. Come with me, I’ll sign this and we can drop it off at Squad 6 on our way to Squad 4. Maybe I’ll be able to see Nii-sama then.” She waved the letter in her hand as she walked towards her office, signaling for Renji to follow her.

“Hai, hai. I’m coming lieutenant.” Renji laughed as Rukia turned around to stick her tongue out at him as she kept walking. Shaking his head, he follows behind.

~*~

_Anata ga boku wo aishiteru ka aishitenai ka_   
_(Do you love me or not?)_   
_Nante koto a mou docchi demo ii n da_   
_(I don’t care what the answer is, I just need to know)_   
_Donna ni negai nozomou ga_   
_(No matter how badly I wish to be with you)_   
_Kono sekai ni wa kaerarenu mono ga takusan aru darou_   
_(There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?)_   
_Sou soshite boku ga anata wo aishiteru to iu jijitsu dake wa_   
_(That’s right, and my love for you)_   
_Dare ni mo kaerarenu shinjitsu dakara_   
_(Is the truth unchangeable by anyone)_

~*~

After a long day of meetings, signing papers, and scolding his lieutenant for being late with the letter he gave him yesterday, Byakuya returns back to his manor. He had an enjoyable dinner with his younger sister, Rukia and was ready to unwind for the day. Rukia has her own room at the manor, but she has been staying there less and less, especially since she took up the position of lieutenant. He couldn’t be prouder of her, his pride, and was simply content with her coming to stay on the occasional weekend when their work lets them.

Walking back to the room where Hisana’s shrine was, he slides open the shoji to the room and the shoji facing the garden, after opening the door of the shrine to reveal her picture. He smiled ever so softly at the picture before turning to face outside. The sun has long set, day giving way to night. It was dark except for the light from the twinkling stars, the full moon and a few lit torches on the outside of the manor. It was rather beautiful out if Byakuya was honest with himself. Looking at a large rock by the side of the stream, in his mind’s eye, the scene changed.

It was no longer night, but rather sunset. The sky was colored with reds, oranges and yellows. The highest point in the sky started giving way to the darker colors of the evening, but it was still fairly light out, the colors were warm. Sitting on the rock was none other than Hisana. The memory was as clear as if it just happened yesterday. Her back was to him, but he didn’t need to see her face to know what she was thinking about. She was thinking about her baby sister, Rukia, the one she abandoned so many years ago.

Life was really hard in Hanging Dog of the Rukongai. Everyone was very poor and had to fight or steal for food and water. There was shelter, but it wasn’t uncommon for fights to break out among the people as they battled it out for the best of the rough-shod buildings. Hisana and her sister died in the World of the Living and were reborn in the Soul Society. The absence of luck would have it that of all the places for Hisana and Rukia to appear in the Soul Society, it would be Hanging Dog. To make matters worse, Rukia was only a baby. How could one take care of a baby in the poorest area that is riddled with crime? Determining it would be too hard for her to survive while taking care of a baby, Hisana left Rukia behind and ran away. She was able to survive on her own and one day even managed to steal the heart of a noble, but even so, Hisana was always haunted by the fact that she abandoned her only sister.

Even during her five years of being Hisana Kuchiki and living with a man who loved her, she never stopped thinking of her sister nor did she stop looking for her. Byakuya would often find her sitting on that very rock by the stream thinking of all the places she should look next for Rukia. Byakuya loved her dearly and even though it made him sad seeing Hisana like that, he supported her and tried to encourage her to rest between her endless searches.

“Byakuya-sama. Will you promise me to continue to look for my sister? When you find her, please adopt her into your home, but please don’t tell her about me. I abandoned her as a baby and I don’t deserve to be called her sister. But please, I would like her to be able to call you brother. I’m sorry that I was a terrible wife and was unable to pay back all the love you gave me… These last five years were like a wonderful dream. Byakuya-sama…”

Slowly Byakuya returned to reality, Hisana’s form fading from beside the stream and the sky darkening back to that of night. He sighed softly and looked back at the sky. “I would like to say that I did not care that you did not love me back. However, I would be lying if I did. I do not regret taking you in. I do not regret loving you. Even so…it is not easy to love and not be loved in return.”

~*~

_Sen no yoru wo koete anata ni tsutaetai_   
_(I want to overcome thousands of nights and tell it to you)_   
_Tsutaenakya naranai koto ga aru_   
_(I have to let you know)_   
_Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai_   
_(“I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me.”)_   
_Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte_   
_(I wander around as I repeat this to myself)_   
_Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte_   
_(And the answer I found is only one; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt)_   
_Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda_   
_(I’ll say “I love you” to the one I love)_

Byakuya turned around and looked at Hisana’s portrait gently gazing at him. He slowly walked over and delicately brushed his fingers over the frame. His lips formed some words, but no sound came out. It was simply a quiet commune between him and his wife.

_Kimochi wo kotoba ni suru no wa kowai yo demo_   
_(It’s scary putting my feelings into words)_   
_Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda_   
_(I’ll say “I love you” to the one I love)_

~*~

There are some occasions when there is enough downtime during the day that Renji and Rukia can have some lunch together. Usually they are joined by some of their other friends, but it doesn’t make their time together any less special. Generally, they all are involved in the same conversation, but every now and then while the others are chatting amongst themselves, these two from the Rukongai can catch up themselves.

“Do you remember that one time when you came along and knocked over that man who was going to hurt us for stealing water from him?”

“How could I not? That was the first time we ever met! But yes, if I remember correctly, I think you and your friends were a little stunned at first until I snapped you out of it by telling you all to run!” Rukia waved her chopsticks which she held in the air as she spoke.

“Well excuse us for being shocked that some small girl who came out of nowhere, not only saved our asses but enabled us to escape! Not a usual sight.” Renji chuckled.

“I might’ve been a small girl, but a small girl with street smarts and some Kido ability to boot! You all would’ve been lost without me, or at least get in trouble a lot more often!” Rukia looked to the side and crossed her arms, knowing she won this round.

“You’re right, you’re right.” He held his two hands together in front of him in a grateful gesture. “Thank you so much, Rukia Kuchiki for saving me all those years ago. I wouldn’t be here without you!”

Rukia chuckled and shook her head, looking at Renji with a smile on her face. “Okay, Mr. Dramatic. That’s enough of that.” She took a drink of her water as Renji placed his hands down and looked at her.

“…Even if those were some hard times back then, I wouldn’t change them for anything. I’m glad I met you and I’m glad we’re here today.”

“Ah. So am I, Renji. So am I.” They both smiled and raised their glasses in a toast.

~*~

_Kono hiroi sekai de meguri au yorokobi wo kotoba jya ii arawasenai ne_   
_(The happiness we chanced upon in our lives can’t be expressed in words)_   
_Dakara bokutachi wa hohoemi_   
_(That’s why we can only smile)_   
_Iro azayaka ni sugiru aki wo doremi de utatte_   
_(Why we sing “Do-Re-Mi” among the vivid autumn colors)_   
_Fuyu wo se ni haru no komorebi wo machi_   
_(With winter at our backs, and the spring sunbeams peeking through the trees)_   
_Atarashiku umare kawaru dareka wo mamoreru youni to_   
_(And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone)_

~*~

Every so often when things are quiet or when he is just simply doing calligraphy, Byakuya’s thoughts travel back to when Hisana was still around. He was never really one to speak his emotions, nor to show them outright, but anyone could tell he really cared about Hisana. He always was more patient with her and showed more concern for her than anyone else. While the elders of the Kuchiki clan didn’t agree with what he had done, there was no denying his feelings for the raven-haired woman.

He could speak his mind when he needed to and he was always calm and collected. He never spoke out of turn, spoke when he needed to, and said everything eloquently and succinctly. He never stuttered or stumbled, he never seemed unsure or at a loss for words. However, it was different with his wife. One would never know this, but there was always something he was afraid to say, how much he loved her. Not that he didn’t want to tell her that; he just didn’t want to confirm what he felt he already knew, that she didn’t love him in return.

~*~

Renji watched Rukia and Ichigo interact with one another. He knew they are very good friends, nakama; after all, they once shared the same power. That creates a bond unlike any other. They’ve spent a lot of time together too, learning about each other, confiding in each other, trusting in each other, and Renji is fine with that. He is not bitter nor is he jealous. In fact, he and Ichigo are good friends themselves. He himself and Rukia have their own bond as well. A bond forged from growing up together, going to school together and their bond was growing stronger after being reunited again after time passing.

He believed Rukia in part, knew how he felt about her. Their bond of friendship, of time, of hardships and triumphs. Though he also knew that she didn’t know all of it. How his feelings for her went beyond just friendship, but he wasn’t sure that she felt the same. He was afraid to tell her. He wanted to, but he didn’t. He doesn’t want to ruin what they have. With the time that did pass between Rukia’s being adopted into the Kuchiki family and their reuniting when Rukia was to be brought back to Soul Society, could she really feel the same or harbor the same feelings for him? He doesn’t want to know in case the feelings aren’t returned. So he just sat alone with his own feelings and enjoyed the friendship they will hopefully always have.

“Hey, Renji! You coming or what? If not, we’re leaving you behind!” Ichigo called out.

“Ichigo’s right, Renji! We’re waiting on you, hurry up!”

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming Rukia! I’ll be right there!” He smiled at his longtime childhood friend who smiled back as he walked up to join them.

~*~

_Kita michi to yukisaki furikaereba itsudemo okubyou na me wo shite ita boku_   
_(As I looked at the road I’d travelled and the path ahead, my eyes were filled with cowardice)_   
_Mukiaitai demo sunao ni narenai_   
_(I wanted to look you in the eyes, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be honest)_   
_Massugu ni aite wo aisenai hibi wo_   
_(I didn’t want to know that you didn’t love me)_   
_Kurikaeshite wa hitoribocci wo iyagatte_   
_(And live the rest of my days all alone)_   
_Ano hi no boku wa mukizu na mama de hito wo aisou to shite ita_   
_(That day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt)_

~*~

One is living in part in the time of love’s past and one is living in the time of love’s present. Different times, different circumstances, but same situation. Will one fall on deaf ears? Will one just simply never be spoken? Will one not be spoken because it is too late? Will one not be spoken for fear of ending what is had? Either way, the feelings are the same and regardless of whether it will ever be spoken aloud, the feelings are strong and they are true.

~*~

_Sen no yoru wo koete ima anata ni ai ni yukau_   
_(I want to overcome thousands of nights to head out and meet you right away)_   
_Tsutaenakya narani koto ga aru_   
_(I have to let you know)_   
_Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai_   
_(“I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me”)_   
_Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte_   
_(I wander around as I repeat this to myself)_   
_Boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte_   
_(And the answer I found is only one; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt)_   
_Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda_   
_(I’ll say “I love you” to the one I love)_

~*~

“I must be going now. There is work that I must do.” He looks up and his face softens with a smile. “I will be back.”

~*~

“Alright, I’ll see you then. Don’t forget about lunch today!” He heard an affirmative response and waved back in return before he walked away, smiling.

~*~

_Sono omoi ga kanawanakutatte suki na hito ni suki tte tsutaeru_   
_(Even if my feelings aren’t returned, I can say “I love you” to the one I love…)_   
_Sore wa kono sekai de ichiban suteki na koto sa_   
_(And that’s the most beautiful thing in the world)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Sen no Yoru wo Koete (Passing Over the Thousands of Nights)  
> Concept Cover sung by Byakuya Kuchiki and Renji Abarai


	3. The Light of Winter Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was always there for him. Now it is time for him to be there for her. (Toshiro/Rangiku, bond, with a little Gin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a birthday request for my friend, Quill. Happy Birthday dearie! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Had it been that many years already? Had time really slipped through his fingers like grains of sand? Had all the events that occurred across the three worlds happened in such quick succession, that only just now when there is down time, he could realize how much has changed? The frosty captain of the 10th Division looked up to the sky where the stars twinkled in the distance. The silence was broken by the creaking of a door being slowly opened and closed, followed by the sound of quick but muted footsteps. Toshiro Hitsugaya closed his eyes, tilting his head down as a tic mark appeared above his head.

“Matsumoto! Don’t think you can get out of doing your paperwork by sneaking off. I know for a fact that you haven’t finished it all already!”

“Aw, but Taicho! It’s so late and the stars are already out. Don’t you think I worked hard enough for today?”

“Not remotely!” Toshiro turned around and glared at his busty, blonde-haired Lieutenant. “I suggest you get back there and finish what is on your desk. Unless you want to add that paperwork to the massive pile you already have, and end up spending the next couple of nights in the office working without any breaks!”

“Aww, you’re so mean, Taicho. Fine, I’ll go and finish what you gave me today…. Though I’ll be missing out on meeting everyone at the bar….” Rangiku looked up at Toshiro with a pout and slowly made to walk back into the office.

Toshiro muttered under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, you can go! However, I expect you to be here bright and early and not drunk for work tomorrow. You hear me, Matsumoto?”

Rangiku’s eyes lit up as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest happily. “Thank you so much Taicho! I promise I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow! You can count on me! Have a good night!” She gave him a final wave before she shunpo’d off in the direction of her favorite bar.

Toshiro simply shook his head with a slight smile as he watched her rush off. 'At least some things never change,' he thought before turning back around. He looked at his right hand which he held up and heard Hyorinmaru rumble in the back of his mind. 'Some things never change…' Taking one last glance back up at the sky as the wind blew his bangs into his eyes, he jumped down from the roof of the building he stood on, and headed back home.

_Tsumetai yokaze ga me ni sasari_   
_(The cold night breeze gets caught in my eyes)_   
_Kudaranai kioku ga afure dasu_   
_(As meaningless memories flow over me)_   
_Togatta serifu o sora ni hanachi_   
_(Shouting harsh words to the sky)_   
_Chi no aji no nokoru tsuba o haita_   
_(I still have the taste of blood on my tongue)_

~*~

Rangiku walked along the fringes of the Seireitei, having finished her scouting mission of the forests of the Rukongai. She didn’t feel like heading back to the 10th Division to report her findings just yet, plus it was still early so she felt she had some time. As she walked among the trees, she didn’t think much about where her feet were taking her. She wasn’t lost, but she didn’t have any particular destination in mind. The path she was on eventually opened up to a small clearing, and her face fell when she realized where she was. Scattered around the rim of the clearing were clusters of persimmon trees. She hadn’t been to this area since Gin Ichimaru died.

With a solemn expression, she walked up to one of the persimmon trees and ran her fingers over the rough, ebony bark. She looked around her at the trees, her eyes ghosting over the blossoms and ripe fruits. In the back of mind, her voice echoed something she thought to herself in the past.

_Anta wa itsudemo atashi yuki saki wo tsugezu ni kiesaru_   
_(You’re always leaving before telling me where you are going)_   
_Doushite?_   
_(Why?)_

Ever since Gin showed her this place, when the persimmons were ripe and they weren’t too busy, both of them would come here and pick them. Dried persimmons were Gin’s favorite and he loved harvesting them. The first time he took Rangiku here, he had her try one raw. She found it too astringent for her taste and slapped him on the arm for laughing at the look on her face. He brought her some dried persimmons in apology later and promised her she’d like them this way much more. Against her better judgment and being unable to resist that gentle and somewhat teasing smile he only reserved for her, on rare occasions, she tried some. To her surprise, she did like them. It became a tradition for them to come here and pick the fruits when they were in season. He would always make sure to save some dried persimmons for her. They would come here to eat them and just hang out.

She turned around in a circle looking at the clouds above her, before eventually leaning her back against the trees. Reaching up to a low hanging branch above her, she pulled a persimmon free. She turned the fruit around in her hand before pressing it against her lips, her gaze towards the sky.

“Even now, I still ask myself that same question…” she murmured.

_Sono toki dake sou omotteru_   
_(Only that time you regard it)_   
_Anta no warui kuse_   
_(It’s your bad habit)_   
_Tama ni miseru hontou no emi_   
_(Occasionally you show your true smile)_   
_Atashi wo doushitai no?_   
_(What am I?)_

~*~

Ever since Rangiku came back from her mission to the forests of the Rukongai, she hasn’t exactly been herself. It didn’t take Toshiro long to notice the change. She would come into work every day, on time, and sit quietly at her desk and work on her paperwork. She would run errands without any argument and stay for the entire day. She would still get distracted on occasion, but more along the lines of getting lost in her thoughts rather than napping and going out drinking. Toshiro let it go for a little while, thinking she needed to get it out of her system and that she’d be back to normal in a couple of days.

He was wrong.

There were only two times he has seen Rangiku like this: sometime after she brought him to the Seireitei for the first time and after Gin died. He assumed this had something to do with the latter. He sighed setting his quill down and clasped his hands together on top of the desk.

“Matsumoto.”

Hearing her name, she stopped what she was doing and looked up at the white-haired male. “Yes, Taicho? Do you need me to do something?”

Toshiro sighed again and shook his head. “I’m fine. I’m more concerned about you. What is going on? Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

Rangiku’s expression softened and a sad smile crossed her face. “No, I’m fine, Taicho. Thanks for asking.” She looked back down at the paper she was working on, signed it, and placed onto her finished stack. Pushing her chair back from the desk, she stood up and stretched. “I’m done with everything for today. Is it alright if I go now, or do you have something else for me?”

Toshiro just blinked at her for a moment, a look of incredulity on his face. “Uh no. You’re good to go, Matsumoto. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Rangiku smiled softly and nodded respectfully. “Thank you, Taicho. You as well.” She gathered her things and left the office, the door closing behind her.

Toshiro snapped out of it and rubbed his face. This was definitely reminding him of the past. She looked at him with that same exact expression years ago when he came to the Seireitei. Yes, he was a prodigy and learned how to control his powers early on, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have trouble with it sometimes. Before Rangiku came to see him where he was staying with his grandmother in the Rukongai, his powers were starting to awaken. If he didn’t learn to control them, he would inadvertently kill his grandmother. Rangiku came to see him and brought him to the Seireitei and the academy so he could become a Shinigami.

He didn’t have to worry about his grandmother anymore, but on the rare occasion his powers went out of control, he worried that he would hurt or frighten others. Though he wouldn’t openly admit it, one of those he was afraid of hurting was Rangiku. She was one of his biggest supporters when he was starting out, and she continued to be when he became captain. He wanted protect those under his jurisdiction, especially those important to him. Despite his not wanting anyone to know about his worries, Rangiku somehow found out what was bothering him. She believed in him and it saddened her to see him like that. She told him to have faith in others and in himself. He’d learn his powers soon enough.

_“Minna shinjae” tte kuchiguse o_   
_(The one who had a habit of saying “Believe in everyone”)_   
_Aitsu wa kokoro kara kanashinda_   
_(Is saddened from the depths of her heart)_   
_Mamorou toshite kizutsukeru chikara de_   
_(Having power that should protect her can hurt her)_   
_Nani o te ni shite yuku?_   
_(What should I do with these hands?)_

After sighing once again, he placed the cap on his ink bottle and straightened up his desk. He decided to get some fresh air as he thought things through. 'Matsumoto helped me through some hard times. I’m going to do the same for her. Even if she doesn’t want to tell me about it, I’ll still find a way to help her. I’m going to be there for her, this time.'

_I’m believing, this light I see_   
_(I’m believing, this light I see)_   
_Tashika na hikari yo_   
_(Unwavering light)_   
_Sakebi dasu ore o machibiite kure_   
_(Please guide me as I call out to you)_

~*~

It has been about a week since Rangiku stumbled across the clearing of persimmon trees. Instead of avoiding the area and the sad thoughts that came along with it as one would’ve thought, she continued to visit it. She stayed away the day after, but purposely went there the following day and every other day thereafter. She took a basket with her and picked some of the fruit. She also pruned the branches a little bit, but mostly left it natural. Wandering around there, she felt like she was close to Gin again, but she still felt somewhat distant from him. That feeling never changed. The sadness never faded and the longing never lessened. It was always there; it just became duller with time. It wasn’t like she wasn’t healing. It wasn’t like she couldn’t completely move on. 'Though can you ever really move on from someone you had feelings for?' At least, that was the thought Rangiku carried with her.

_Doko e yukitai? Nan ni naritai?_   
_(Where do you want to go? What will you be?)_   
_Aisareru koto ga kowai dake?_   
_(Are you simply scared of loving?)_   
_Mou chotto dake tsukamattotte mo yokatta no ni zannen ya_   
_(Only a small bit more and you would have got me)_   
_Shinjirannai_   
_(I can’t believe…)_

After picking some fruit for her basket and manicuring the branches she could reach without much effort, she would just walk around the clearing, a persimmon held in one hand. Since most people didn’t eat the fruit raw and she thought it would be a waste just leaving the fruit there, she decided she would try to dry them as Gin once did. He showed her once or twice, but he mostly just brought her the finished product. She didn’t expect it go well, but she thought she should try.

She thought about what Toshiro said to her the other day. Was she really being that easy of a read? Well, she wasn’t acting like her normal self, that’s for sure. Maybe she needed to snap out of this sooner rather than later. She looked at the persimmon in her hand. Would taking a bite of the dry, tart fruit help? Once again, her thoughts wandered to the past, to the times she had with Gin.

“When is your birthday?”

“I don’t have one. I don’t really remember when it was or celebrated it.”

“How about we make the day we met your birthday, then? From now on, the day we met will become your birthday.”

Rangiku chuckled somewhat bitterly to herself. “I never forgot that day. Every year we celebrated that day. That became the day I told everyone was my birthday. No one knew the truth about it, but us two. To me, it became a special day. For us, it was a special day… Until it wasn’t. Until it wasn’t for you anymore.” She glanced at the persimmon she held before she took a large bite from it. “Ugh… Yuck…” She spit it out and threw the rest of the fruit beyond the trees. “Well, that is that. Isn’t it?”

_Boku to auta hi ga kimi no tanjoubi ya_   
_(When you met me that day was your birthday)_   
_Shirankattan yattara ee yaro?_   
_(If I didn't know, that is okay, right?)_

~*~

A little more than a week passed, and Toshiro noticed that Rangiku has started to act a little more like her old self. Not entirely, but it was an improvement from before. What bothered him about this wasn’t her going back to her old ways; he was actually relieved about that. It was the fact that she seemed to have to force herself to act the way she did before. Rangiku still bothered him. That hadn’t changed. She just bothered him in a different way. He found he didn’t like this way.

“Matsumoto. Did you even look at these papers before you signed them? Do you even know what you gave the okay for?” He held up a thin stack of paper in one hand as he leaned his head on his other hand.

“Huh? Oh sorry, Taicho. I guess I should’ve looked at it more thoroughly huh?” She looked up at him blinking.

Toshiro sighed as a tic mark once again adorned his head; a rather common occurrence having Rangiku for a Lieutenant. “You are my Lieutenant, are you not? I ask that you do as you’re supposed to do as a Lieutenant, and this includes properly doing your job. You can do that, can’t you?” He looked back at her for an answer. He wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or get her upset, he was simply trying to get her to react as she would have before. He wanted her to blow him off, or say that the reason that happened was because he gave her too much work to do and she couldn’t concentrate with so much.

“Of course, I can do that. I’m sorry, Taicho. I promise to pull myself together.”

Toshiro lifted his head from his hand and looked at female Shinigami in shock. Was she kidding him? She said she’d pull herself together, but could she really when she was the one out of sorts to begin with? Having enough, he slammed his hands on his desk, startling his partner. “That’s it. Matsumoto! You’re coming with me. We’re going to spar together. Now.”

“Taicho? But don’t we have paperwork to do?” She looked between the stacks of paper on both of their desks before looking back at the younger, but more powerful Shinigami.

“That can wait. Grab your Zanpakuto and meet me at the squad training grounds. That’s an order!” He had already grabbed Hyorinmaru as he spoke and walked out of the office.

“T-Taicho! Wait for me!” Rangiku scrambled for Haineko and hurried after Toshiro, not knowing the cause of his sudden mood swing.

A few minutes later under the darkening sky, both Toshiro and Rangiku were standing in the center of the training grounds in fighting stances, Zanpakuto drawn.

“Growl, Haineko!” Rangiku called out unleashing her Shikai and sending a wave of ash towards her captain.

“Hyorinmaru!” Already having unleashed his Shikai, he simply called out his Zanpakuto’s name and effortlessly shot a wave of ice forward, dispersing Haineko’s ashes.

Rangiku looked at her captain puzzled. Not only was he acting out of character, but he didn’t seem to be fighting at full strength either. It seemed to be rather half-hearted. “Okay, Taicho. Tell me what is going on. You order me to spar with you and yet you aren’t giving it your all. You could’ve done more than just disperse Haineko’s ashes. You could’ve continued shooting your ice towards me. Why did you stop short? I know you’re stronger than this. You worked harder to be strong, to be worthy of the title of captain. What is going on with you?”

A look of slight hurt flashed across Toshiro’s face. Her comments hit close to home. Once again reminding him of the past. Back to the beginning of his journey of becoming a Shinigami in Squad 10.

_Tsuyosa dake o shinjite kita hibi_   
_(Gradually believing in a daily life founded only on strength)_   
_Munashisa o katsu tabi ni shitta_   
_(I know that this time the only thing I win is emptiness)_   
_Chippoke na kokoro de warau kara_   
_(From my tiny heart I laugh aloud)_   
_Mou sukoshi tsuyogatte isasete kure_   
_(Please let me get a little stronger)_

“You don’t have to deal with this alone. I’m here for you, Taicho. Tell me what is wrong. I want to help you. Please.”

Toshiro’s grip on Hyorinmaru’s hilt tightened. 'That smile on her face. That lonely looking smile. Why is she looking at me like that again? Like all those years ago? She’s the one who is lonely right now! She’s the one dealing with something on her own. I want to help her!'

_“Hitori de ikiru” -tte kuchiguse ni_   
_(When I had a habit of saying “I’ll live alone”)_   
_Aitsu wa sashisou ni hohoenda_   
_(She smiled at me with a lonely looking smile)_   
_Wakarou toshite tsuki hanasu chikara de_   
_(Having power to understand her can forsake her)_   
_Nani o te ni shite yuku?_   
_(What should I do with these hands?)_

“You say I’m the one who is alone. You say I don’t have to deal with this on my own. I know that. Though right now, you’re the one who is alone! Why don’t you tell me what is wrong? Why don’t you let me help you, Rangiku?”

Rangiku’s eyes widened, her lips parted, and she nearly let Haineko slip from her grasp. “Taicho… Toshiro.” Her expression softened and her eyes appeared a little glossy before she closed them. “…Thank you.”

Too relieved that he finally got through to her to care that she called him by his first name, he sighed out and let Hyorinmaru fall to his side. He closed the distance between them until he was right in front of her, holding out his hand. “Now why don’t you share with me what is going on with you?”

_I’m believing, this light I see_   
_(I’m believing, this light I see)_   
_Kodoku na hikari yo_   
_(Lonely light,)_   
_Kurui dasu ore o daki shimete kure_   
_(Please embrace me in my confusion)_

Rangiku chuckled and lightly wiped away the few tears that managed to escape. “I think I will.” As she reached out to place her hand into Toshiro’s, an explosion could be heard and she looked before them. “Fireworks…” It reminded her of when she watched fireworks years ago with Gin before he died.

_Sou iu toko kirai na no yo_   
_(That part of you I loathe)_   
_Anta no warui kuse_   
_(It’s your bad habit)_

Toshiro sighed. “Yeah, I thought you’d might like to see something like this. They kind of hold a sort of symbolism, don’t they?”

Rangiku watched Toshiro as the lights from the fireworks lit up his face. Through that gesture she knew that he had an idea of what has been bothering her all this time. He gave her the chance to work through it on her own, but seeing that she wasn’t making any progress, he decided to step in. He wanted to help her with what she was going through. Even though she still struggled with the pain and sadness of missing Gin after all this time, her captain was there for her and wanted to help. She looked back down at his hand which he still held out for her. She chuckled and placed her hand in his, bringing his attention back to her. “They do.”

_Nakeru hodo ni hibiku kotoba_   
_(The words that echo make me crazy)_   
_Maru de fuyu no hanabi_   
_(Just like Winter Fireworks)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs: This Light I See  
> Character Song sung by Toshiro Hitsugaya  
> Fuyu no Hanabi (Winter Fireworks)  
> Character Song sung by Gin Ichimaru and Rangiku Matsumoto


End file.
